POKE

i started off this era unemployed. i had just been let go by my previous job at my college. ah, to be a neet again. it didn't last too long, though - within a couple months, i got a job working at a poke place. i ended up holding this job for over a year, which is honestly pretty good by my standards. it was by far the best restaurant job i had ever worked. i got to play my own music, which was nice. plus, i got free poke bowls, so that was pretty cool.

i'd usually work the early shift. i'd start every day by coming in, turning on one of my playlists, and putting good mythical morning or my little pony on the tv. it was kinda like my cozy little place. the customers were exceedingly nice, my coworkers were mostly fun to talk to, and it wasn't very hard work at all. of course, when recollecting like this, i tend to remember the good times the most. in actuality, it was still a job, and because i'm a lazy fucker, i still didn't like it there very much. even the best of restaurant jobs can still be pretty shitty.

my gf came to visit me in january 2025. we had a wonderful time together, as always (even tho we both were broke). we went out and did lots of things around downtown charleston, such as going to the aquarium. that was loads of fun, but my fondest moments of her time here were the little moments, like just chilling in bed watching bluey. cuddling each other 24/7. even something small like sleeping in the same bed together felt amazing.

shortly after she left, it snowed! for the first time in seven years. there's something about it that makes me feel so childlike.

during this era, i made great strides in my space photography. below are pictures i took at the same campground, the first one was taken in 2023 and the second one was taken in 2024.

stargazing was still one of my favorite things to do, and maybe it always will be. for christmas 2025, i asked my dad for a proper telescope, and i got it. i post all of my space pics on my tumblr page, but here are some assorted best ones:

once i got my telescope, i undertook the task of taking a picture of every messier object, putting them all in a chart. here's my progress on that, as of the end of this era:

going off the previous era, my fascination with death continued. i was afraid not only of my own demise, but of the demise of the ones close to me. specifically my dad, who i had seen turn into an old man before my eyes. although he is still sharp, it was still harrowing to see the physical and mental decline you would expect with anyone growing old. one of my biggest fears is to see my dad get something like Alzheimer's, since it runs in the family. thankfully, that hasn't happened.

i got really into the work of don hertzfeldt, specifically his film It's Such A Beautiful Day. it's a simply animated feature about a stick-figure man who slowly loses his memories. i felt very unsettled while watching it, and yet, it has become perhaps my favorite movie of all time. the way it shows the loss of memories, the loss of grip on reality, aging, and the fear of death is so beautifully done. it forced me to reckon with the inevitability of time, memory loss, and death, but it did it in a way that finds some sort of beauty in it.

on the ides of march 2025, i had a wonderful dream. as recited by me and available in my dream log:

"i had a dream last night that i was starting at university again and i decided to come out as trans to everyone and people were very supportive. even though at times it was awkward, i felt empowered and happy. i still have yet to come out to my parents and i have not started hrt yet, but i will change that this year. i have been scared to do it for years but i can't wait any longer. i will do whatever it takes to start"

the dream was a legitimate revelation for me. i knew i couldn't hold back my feelings anymore, and i had to come out to my parents. i just didn't expect it to happen that very same day.

i was in my bedroom, crying about how my future was gonna be as a trans woman, when my dad heard me and stepped in. it was then that i finally came out to him. and thank god, he ended up being extremely supportive. a part of me always knew he would be, so it wasn't much of a surprise, but i always put off doing the "hard part". but finally, the secret was out.

my dad fully supported me, and so did my sister. my mom... not so much. i think she was okay with me being "feminine", but not being a full-on woman. shortly after i came out, she took me to get a manicure and pedicure, and i got my nails painted, which i thought was a nice gesture. but then, on the way home, she told me something along the lines of "i hope you can express yourself doing things like this and not that HRT stuff". that was a great disappointment.

but still, i was happy to finally come out. it's one of the most important days of my life. my family knew that i was Chloe now.

a friend of mine gifted me the game Tower Unite in april for my birthday. i ended up getting addicted to it. i loved the minigames and meeting new people virtually. but the thing i poured the most time into was decorating my condo. you can see my ena phase, followed by my deltarune phase, reflected in this.

in terms of music, i got really into They Might Be Giants during the early months of 2025. my obsession then turned to Weatherday for a brief period in the spring. but in the summer, i found the band that i was gonna hyperfixate on for the next few months: Oasis. i'm a huge beatles fan, so it's not a big surprise that i love Oasis's music. but what really drew me to them in the first place were their hilarious antics. Liam and his asshole personality and his funny-sounding accent. he is just one of those people who is hilarious just by merely existing.

i basically had a They Might Be Giants winter, Weatherday spring, Oasis summer, and Geese fall.

i went to see my gf in california for new year's. we had a wonderful time together, as always. the real highlight of the trip came on new year's eve.

my gf's mom was inviting a bunch of people over to her house for the occasion. i, hating social situations, knew there was only one possible way i could bear this night: alcohol. both me and my gf had countless tequila shots and seltzers. we ended up getting absolutely piss drunk. i was talking to these strangers like they were my life long friends. i played drinking games and bet on card games with random adults who i would probably never see again. it was fantastic. i don't remember how, but me and my gf ended up on the floor, in front of the bathroom, unable to get up. we were both laughing our asses off. somehow, the night ended with me blasting Savoy Truffle on the tv. it was a fun way to start 2026.

until the next morning. worst. hangover. ever.

shortly after i got back home, it snowed! again! something about cold weather and snow makes me feel so happy. i feel like i'm in my element. the night it snowed, i sat on the porch and just watched the snow fall while hitting my vape pen. i took out my telescope and took pictures of the full moon, too. just an absolutely gorgeous night.

this era ends when i quit my job from the poke place. i had kept missing too many days due to stomach problems and mental health issues, and i felt like i was letting the owner down. around this time, my depression started really affecting me badly again. as of writing (August 2026) i am still dealing with this. but don't worry, it's not all bad! as for when the next (current) era will be finished... who knows?

my rating for this era is a 7/10.

overall, this era was pretty stable, thanks in part to lexapro. thanks, lexapro!

and now, some last.fm stats

18788 scrobbles (39/day)

TOP ARTISTS:

The Beatles (1859 scrobbles)
Oasis (1432 scrobbles)
They Might Be Giants (1121 scrobbles)
Björk (955 scrobbles)
The Beach Boys (734 scrobbles)

TOP ALBUMS:

Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory? (408 scrobbles)
They Might Be Giants - Flood (402 scrobbles)
Weatherday - Hornet Disaster (258 scrobbles)
Björk - Debut (217 scrobbles)
Geese - Getting Killed (203 scrobbles)

TOP TRACKS:

They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse in Your Soul (50 scrobbles)
Oasis - Don't Look Back in Anger (47 scrobbles)
Björk - Venus as a Boy (41 scrobbles)
My Bloody Valentine - Slow (38 scrobbles)
The Beach Boys - Busy Doin' Nothin' (33 scrobbles)