i started off this era unemployed. i had just been let go by my previous job at my college. ah, to be a neet again. it didn't last too long, though - within a couple months, i got a job working at a poke place. i ended up holding this job for over a year, which is honestly pretty good by my standards. although i didn't really like it, it was by far the best restaurant job i had ever worked. i got to play my own music, which was nice. plus, i got free poke bowls, so that was pretty cool.
my gf came to visit me in january 2025. we had a wonderful time together, as always (even tho we both were broke). we went out and did lots of things around downtown charleston, but my fondest moments of her time here were the little moments, like just chilling in bed watching bluey. cuddling each other 24/7. even something small like sleeping in the same bed together felt amazing.
shortly after she left, it snowed! for the first time in seven years. there's something about it that makes me feel so childlike.
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during this era, i made great strides in my space photography. below are pictures i took at the same campground, the first one was taken in 2023 and the second one was taken in 2024.
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stargazing was still one of my favorite things to do, and maybe it always will be. for christmas 2025, i asked my dad for a proper telescope, and i got it. i post all of my space pics on my tumblr page, but here are some assorted best ones:
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once i got my telescope, i undertook the task of taking a picture of every messier object, putting them all in a chart. here's my progress on that, as of the end of this era:
going off the previous era, my fascination with death continued. i was afraid not only of my own demise, but of the demise of the ones close to me. specifically my dad, who i had seen turn into an old man before my eyes. although he is still sharp, it was still harrowing to see the physical and mental decline you would expect with anyone growing old. one of my biggest fears is to see my dad get something like Alzheimer's, since it runs in the family. thankfully, that hasn't happened.
i got really into the work of don hertzfeldt, specifically his film It's Such A Beautiful Day. it's a simply animated feature about a stick-figure man who slowly loses his memories. i felt very unsettled while watching it, and yet, it has become perhaps my favorite movie of all time. the way it shows the loss of memories, the loss of grip on reality, aging, and the fear of death is so beautifully done. it forced me to reckon with the inevitability of time, memory loss, and death, but it did it in a way that finds some sort of beauty in it.
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in mid-march 2025, i had a wonderful dream. as recited by me and available in my dream log:
"i had a dream last night that i was starting at university again and i decided to come out as trans to everyone and people were very supportive. even though at times it was awkward, i felt empowered and happy. i still have yet to come out to my parents and i have not started hrt yet, but i will change that this year. i have been scared to do it for years but i can't wait any longer. i will do whatever it takes to start"
the dream was a legitimate revelation for me. i knew i couldn't hold back my feelings anymore, and i had to come out to my parents. i just didn't expect it to happen that very same day.
i was in my bedroom, crying about how my future was gonna be as a trans woman, when my dad heard me and stepped in. it was then that i finally came out to him. and thank god, he ended up being extremely supportive. a part of me always knew he would be, so it wasn't much of a surprise, but i always put off doing the "hard part". but finally, the secret was out.
my dad fully supported me, and so did my sister. my mom... not so much. i think she was okay with me being "feminine", but not being a full-on woman. shortly after i came out, she took me to get a manicure and pedicure, and i got my nails painted, which i thought was a nice gesture. but then, on the way home, she told me something along the lines of "i hope you can express yourself doing things like this and not that HRT stuff". that was a great disappointment.
but still, i was happy to finally come out. it's one of the most important days of my life. my family knew that i was Chloe now.
[images to be added soon]
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