THE HUB

i really made some progress in finding who i really was. i have drugs to thank for a lot of that! nothing too crazy, just some synthetic weed edibles. i would take one every Friday night, babble to my friends incoherently for a few hours, then ride out the high by listening to music or watching youtube. i would stay up until 6am sometimes, trying to wring out every last second of that high. when i woke up the next morning, i was completely crashed, too tired to do anything, but it was worth it. did you know that weed alters your perception of things? crazii, i know. this was when animal collective really opened up to me. their atmospheric and psychedelic music was tailor-made for these types of highs. in particular, Feels, Fall Be Kind, and Person Pitch.

i made some art pieces while i was high. in all of these "highpeaces", i was trying to comb my brain for random bits of memories from my childhood. for some reason, the weed made my memories of childhood stronger. as you can tell, i'm not an artist.

the start of this era is January 31, which was my first day at a new job. it was at my college in a place called "the hub", where new students came for orientation, but we also had a lot of students come in with other questions, and also to use our computers. i'm not much of a people person, dealing with strangers has never been my favorite thing, but over the years i've become decent at it. i also had to take phone calls, and i got a handful of extremely angry students, but mostly the people were nice. we were still wearing masks at this time (or, at least i was) and it made working just a little bit shittier. tho i had grown a bit more comfortable with it, and it got to a point where i was afraid to show the lower half of my face, as people might realize i'm fat and ugly! overall, i'd give this stint at the hub a 7/10 or so. better than my previous jobs at various restaurants. i got paid close to minimum wage tho, which sucked.

around this time is when i was really exploring my gender identity. i had come out to my friends a few months before, but i hadn't told anyone in my family. i bought a bunch of women's clothes from hot topic and wore them around the house when nobody was home. i loved taking pictures of myself in my black mesh shirts and pleated skirts. the gender euphoria was so strong, and it made me feel so good. i continued to keep it a secret, though, at least for now. but at this point, i knew it wasn't "just a phase". it was me.

i also made my first furry oc, Ash! i made her using remy boydell's character maker thingy. she's a gray catgirl who's an obnoxious shithead stoner. i love her. this started a trend of creating a new fursona every year or so. a part of me still loves Ash the most, because she was my first one. her design is simple but i really identify with it and seeing any art of her gives me great joy.

in may, i guess i must've been needing money, because despite having a job already, i started doing doordash delivery driving. by the time it's may in the south, it's already hot as fuck, and my car would be like an oven every time i got in it. at the time, i was listening to dummy by portishead a lot, so i associate that album with scorching hot temperatures. i did doordash exactly twice before quitting forever. the first time, the directions took me to the middle of nowhere. i was stressing out of my mind, since i had a frosty from wendy's that was melting. i felt so bad when i finally got to the destination, which was a waffle house. the second time, i had to deliver a vase of flowers and balloons. the vase was full of water and fucking spilled all over my passenger seat, and the balloons kept hitting me in the face and completely blocked my view of the rear window. in hindsight, it was dangerous to drive on the highway like that. i realized this shit wasn't for me.

in march, shortly after that, i got really really into kero kero bonito. i pretty much listened to them exclusively for the month of march. then in may, i got into the velvet underground. i was already familiar with their debut, but i started listening to their other work, and i fell in love with it. in particular white light/white heat. the title track, lady godiva's operation, and sister ray are some of my favorite songs ever. i also loved their self-titled album. loaded was not quite as good but i still enjoyed it a lot. i associate loaded with my trip to charlotte in june of that year, to see my gf. it was a good trip because i got to see her, and i love spending time with her! but i had to stay at a crummy hotel the whole time. i remember is that it was hot as fuck.

and then, in the middle of the trip, my gf tested positive for covid, after i had already been hugging and kissing her a bunch. by the time i got home, i knew i must have gotten covid, but i felt no symptoms, and when i took a test, it came back negative. hallelujah! it made no sense to me, but i was thankful to avoid getting it. the next day i went to work and everything was fine. the morning after that, i woke up with a bit of a frog in my throat, but didn't feel bad. by that night, i was in a vc with friends, and i slowly felt myself getting sicker. i then took another test, and it came back positive. like, really positive. the line was DARK. couple hours later, i had a terrible fever, chills, and was too tired to do anything. and for the next week, i isolated at my mom's home, just staying in my room the entire time. i had respiratory issues, but nothing too bad, thankfully. i mostly remember being very, very tired. but i was lucky to come out of it unscathed and avoiding long covid. i was vaccinated so i knew i would probably be ok.

i basically spent the remainder of that era going to work and taking edibles once or twice a week. these highs were really mind-opening for me, as it was my first time really experimenting with drugs. i remember drinking cokes during dinner, making sure i had enough caffeine to get through the night. i suspect this probably had a negative on my heart, but i didn't really care at the time. eventually, i started to get a bit scared, so i went to a doctor about it. they pretty much said i was ok, so i kept on. this issue would come up again later, but not in this era. i pretty much did weed (or as i called them, "big guys") whenever i wanted to, with no restrictions, and i never had any bad trips. fun!

this era ends on august 31, my last day working at the hub. i probably would've worked there longer, but i was a student-employee, and i officially graduated with my degree from college that august. it was just an associate's degree in science, which basically meant i had all my prerequisites done, and i could finally transfer to a university. my sights were set on the university of south carolina, but i would have to wait until january to start attending. after my last day, the next era started, "The Gap".

my rating for this era is a 7.5/10.

there were some bad moments, but overall it was an era i look back on fondly, and i learned a lot about myself.

and now, some last.fm stats

8224 scrobbles (38/day)

TOP ARTISTS:

Car Seat Headrest (894 scrobbles)
The Beatles (741 scrobbles)
The Velvet Underground (544 scrobbles)

TOP ALBUMS:

Kero Kero Bonito - Intro Bonito (222 scrobbles)
Car Seat Headrest - Little Pieces of Paper with "No" Written On Them (173 scrobbles)
The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground (160 scrobbles)

TOP TRACKS:

The Velvet Underground - Lady Godiva's Operation (37 scrobbles)
The Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat (35 scrobbles)
The Velvet Underground - What Goes On (27 scrobbles)
Animal Collective - Wide Eyed (27 scrobbles)
Black Dresses - GAY UGLY AND HARD TO UNDERSTAND (26 scrobbles)